Oh Yeah ... I'M OMNIPOTENT!



I forgot to mention, about a month ago, a nice lady appeared on my doorstep with a card saying she was from Neilsen Ratings. Yup, that's right. The ambiguous, terribly powerful organization that determines what we 'Merikuns watch -- The Real Life vs. PBS' Secrets of the Dead -- asked moi if I wanted to be a Neilsen Family!

Now every time I press a button on my remote, I "speak for approximately 25,000 households in the Pacific Northwest." Heeeeeee!

I'm omnipotent! That twit Paris Hilton is going bye-bye! The Big Brother morons are all gonna need jobs! And PBS will get more funding!!!

Ooh, and I got 50 bucks fer my trouble (there was a gabby tech in my apt. for EIGHT hours plugging all the monitoring stuff in), a free dinner at McCormick & Schmick's and I'll get $25 every time I switch from rabbit ears to cable. If anything goes wrong with my TV, I mean like if I karate kick it and kill it, the Neilsen Corp. will buy me a new one.

Fear Me,

-- Mz M.